Rappers That Justin Bieber Can Eat on the Mic

Singing makes Justin Bieber tons of cash. But the kid would obviously rather be rapping. He's dropping YouTube freestyles, rapping live on hip pop/R&B stations and guest flowing on Chris Brown's horrible rap album. Hilarious, right?

The funniest thing about it is that he's not that bad. His breath control is solid, and his content can be pretty funny – like when he dissed Tom Brady for stealing his haircut. He is susceptible to simpin' (rapping about his girlfriend, he says Personally I think she is perfectly perfect. *Barf*), but he's still better than a lot of rappers.

Which brings us to the point of this post: To list the rappers that Justin Bieber could smoke on the mic RIGHT NOW. Go!

Mac Miller
Drake
Big Sean
Lil' Wayne
Lil' Mama
Lil' Bow Wow
Lil' B
Lil' Cease
OJ da Juiceman
Will.I.Am
Will Smith
Wiz Khalifa
V-Nasty
Soulja Boy
The guy in that Rebecca Black song
Cowboy Troy
Lupe Fiasco
Kid Rock
Kid Cudi
Kid from Kid 'N Play
KRS-One
Meta World Peace
Allen Iverson
Chris Brown
Andy Samberg
Andy Milonakis
Abed from Community
The bros from Far East Movement
Evidence from Dilated Peoples
Everlast

Feel free to add to the list!

Tom Brady vs. Justin Bieber from Kenny Mayne

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Trey

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Rap Power Rankings 11.30.11

The definitive word on rap's movers and shakers.

1. R. Kelly "Shut Up" - The King of R&B is back, y'all, and he's got some words for you haters who said his career was over after throat surgery. Most of those words are "shut up" repeated several times, but there are others too. But seriously, this track features Kellz in fine form, keeping the focus on his golden voice over a minimalistic but building beat. But even if the beat sucked and throat surgery left him sounding like the lead singer of Nickelback, this track would still be great due to some of Kelly's boldest lyrics of his career: Every boy, every girl / Every child around the world / From the nineties up until today / Was made off me.



2. Common "Sweet" - Many moons ago I used the C&D podium to make fun of Fox News for calling Common a gangsta rapper, even though he's been Charmin double-pleated soft for years. You could literally take the Finding Forever CD to the office and use it to wipe your ass instead of the cheap, rough toilet paper they buy to save a few cents per roll. But maybe I owe Hannity and O'Reilly an apology, because Com is talkin' tough on this track. The verses are standard (but well-executed) brag rap, and there is no hook unless you count Common denouncing "sweet" rappers with non-rhyming insults like You ain't no muthafuckin' Frank Sinatra, lil' bitch.

It's totally the pot calling the kettle black, but at least it sounds good.



3. Yelawolf featuring T.I. and Slaughterhouse "Hard White Remix" - If only more of his Shady Records debut album Radioactive sounded like this. Yelawolf invites some friends to jump on the remix to his ode to the club, and everyone is doing their best Usain Bolt impression on the mic. And it sounds glorious.

Hulkshare link

4. Juvenile featuring Rick Ross "Power" - It's kinda weird to hear a song called "Power" after Kanye used the title for his single just a year ago. But Juvenile proves worthy of the subject matter, evaluating what exactly determines power until concluding that it basically comes down to breeding (Check the DNA samples you can find it in the blood). Rick Ross sneaks into the second verse, allowing a single HUUNGH to announce his presence before spitting his Bawse-isms.

Hulkshare link

5. The Bold & the Beautiful - Thanksgiving provided some relief to the various beefs enveloping nearly every character - some of the relief long-term (Ridge and Thorne), and some of it obviously temporary (Hope and Steffy, Taylor and Brooke). But it only took a couple of days for the Logan girls to stir up trouble: Donna and Justin announced their divorce, Brooke and Steffy bickered and Katie is on the brink of another heart attack after walking in on an innocent hug between her husband Bill and nemesis Steffy.

6. Gravediggaz "The House That Hatred Built" - Prince Paul, aka The Undertaker, recently let loose this demo that he says is the first song he, RZA, Too Poetic and Fruitkwan recorded together. It would have fit in nicely on 6 Feet Deep. And that's high praise coming from someone who spent every night of a 1994 vacation pumping the album through headphones while being sure to keep the content hidden from the rest of the family.

The house that hatred built ( Unreleased Gravediggaz demo 92 ) by DJ Prince Paul

7. Pusha T Fear of God II - Most of the good songs were taken from the original Fear of God mixtape, but this is still worth checking out. The best of the new batch is the intro, "Changing of the Guards." Rico Beats provides a grand backdrop, Diddy briefly introduces the lead man and Pusha Ton spends the next two minutes rapping, warning a nameless rapper *cough*Drake*cough* that The fans fell for your act / I tell you break a leg / Then gun shots goin' off that'll awake the dead.

Hulkshare link

8. Rick Ross "I Love My Bitches" - Ross is the only rapper I can tolerate trickin' on the ladies. When he's in a good mood, he's like a black St. Nick, promising his many bitches that they'll never have to fly coach - plus he'll provide all the Benzes and Bentleys they can drive. Ross is still at his best, however, when he's thinking about himself: Am I really just a narcissist / Cause I wake up to a bowl of lobster bisque?

Hulkshare link

9. Mr. Muthafuckin eXquire "Lou Ferigno's Mad" - Best new rapper of the year award, hands down. You know how some talented, well-respected rappers can put together a whole career without a rhyme that's really memorable? (Think Black Thought.) Well, that's not a problem for Mr. Muthafuckin eXquire. This song has plenty to choose from:

I cracked the hourglass and pissed on the sands of time / Fuck how long it takes, y'all gonna gimme mine

I don't do features on the strength of some dap no / Gimme some fuckin' money / The fuck you think I'm rappin' for?

I ain't no muthafuckin' role model / Fuck these lil' n****s / I only rap to get my wallet bigger


10. Black Star "You Already Know" - I can't give this song the complete thumbs up, because, ya know, it still has a verse from Talib Kweli. But Oh No lays down a beat that sounds like a B-side to one of the group's Rawkus singles, and the guys ride it nicely. Black Star has a presumably free mixtape called Aretha Franklin on the way soon.

Hulkshare link

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Rap Power Rankings 05.19.11

The definitive word on rap's movers and shakers.

1. Common - Common's lambasting last week at the hands of the Fox News LOL crew gave him the single biggest boost in street cred in rap history. One moment he's granola-munching hippie spoken word artist and Queen Latifah's love interest in Just Wright; the next he's too gangsta for the White House? Time for a new album with a lead-off single collaboration with Rick Ross! *hhunngh*

2. Killer Mike Pl3dge - Despite the amazing singles ("Burn" and "Ready, Set, Go"), I had my doubts about Pl3dge after seeing a video of Mike sporting a non-stop shit-eating grin while recording in the studio. But then I listened. My bad, Mike. This collection of focused, smart and powerful calls to arms is one of your best yet.


3. The Rapture - Oaktown is in the house! The O.G. (Oldest Grandpa) behind those helpful and omnipresent warnings about Judgement Day's arrival on May 21 is based right here in Oakland. I'm hoping our close proximity means Jesus accidentally raptures my heathen ass too.


4. The Bold & the Beautiful - All the conniving got put on hold while Thomas and Brooke were eating poison berries and sharing the same hallucinations. But now they're back and everyone's either keeping a secret or trying to get their forbidden freakiness on.


5. Luther Campbell for Miami Mayor! - Luke has been jawing on Twitter about his mayoral for awhile now, but I laughed it off until I saw a recent poll showing him in third place. Not only that, but the top two are steady hatin' and shutting him out of Spanish-language debates. Aw HAIL NAW. Vote for Luke! www.luke4mayor.com

6. DJ Quik The Book of David - It's a DJ Quik album - of course it's great. Beyond that, Quik attempts to resurrect some music careers that were buried long ago: Suga Free (yes!), Bizzy Bone (eh) and Jon B. (LOL)


7. Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi Rome - You say Danger Mouse, I roll my eyes. But then this fool goes out and collaborates with Italian composer Daniele Luppi to create a Spaghetti Western soundtrack - the undisputed best film genre ever. Bravo!

8. Arnold Schwarzenegger - Do you think Maria Shriver and her kids are ditching Arnold for his infidelity and lies, or for his taste in mistresses?

9. R&B - I know, I know - this is a rap rankings list, how dare I mention R&B? But let's venture outside rap just for a moment to appreciate the great stuff coming out lately: Charles Bradley's No Time for Dreaming (Actually, there is time for dreaming, as I slept on this January release.), Raphael Saadiq's Stone Rollin' and this new song by Sleepy Brown.


10. Jerome R. Corsi, Ph. D - This guy's book was just published Tuesday. Whoops.


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Rap Power Rankings 03.24.11

The definitive word on rap's movers and shakers.
1. CunninLynguists Oneirology - The UK Wildcats make the Sweet 16, Justified is the best show on TV and CunninLynguists drop the first serious contender for album of the year. Time for Urban Outfitters to bring back those "Gettin' lucky in Kentucky" shirts.
Download CunninLynguists - Hard As They Come ft. Freddie Gibbs


2. Action Bronson Dr. Lecter - No hooks, no problem. This chef-slash-Ghostface soundalike is steady slobbin' over 15 chorus-free tracks beautifully produced by Tommy Mas. Bronson will change your whole outlook on fat, red-bearded white rappers.




3. Lawrence Taylor - The NFL's greatest sackmaster wants to remind everyone that he was banging prostitutes and messin' with that white girl when Charlie Sheen was still Carlos Estevez. And he doesn't card 'em.

4. Fam-Lay "What's My Name" - What constitutes a rap remake? Just borrowing a chorus or using someone's old beat, or do you have to rap all the lyrics, too? Whatever the case, Fam-Lay one up's Jay-Z's "Jigga" with a harder beat and hungrier lyrics.
Download Fam-Lay - What's My Name


5. "The Bold and the Beautiful" - Can you believe Bill almost killed Amber? Thank god for that loose branch and windy Malibu weather. Katie sounds pissed that Bill was contemplating murder, though.

6. Big K.R.I.T. "Time Machine" - K.R.I.T. will release his latest mixtape/album for free next week, but if his early leaks are any indication, he should have used this as his Def Jam debut.
Download Big K.R.I.T. - Time Machine


7. Rittz White Jesus - It's nice to see fast rap making a comeback, and Rittz is one of the fastest rappers out there. (Insert obligatory mention of his whiteness here.)



8. Dumb-Ass Movies - Is it just me, or do The Adjustment Bureau and The Souce Code both look like rip-offs of Deja Vu (another terrible movie)? What's funny is they all feature some great actors. Way to slum it, guys.

9. Chris Brown ft. Busta Rhymes & Lil' Wayne "Look at Me Now" - If you have an MP3 of this, do like I did and delete Chris Brown's verse and a half. But don't skip his parts in the video or you'll miss him rocking the disco-ball face. Confused? Trust me, just watch it.



10. My NCAA Tournament Bracket - I picked Pitt vs. Syracuse in the finals, and they both lost in the round of 32. When does the 2012 tourney start?


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R.I.P. Nate Dogg (August 19, 1969 – March 15, 2011)

Unless you had some underground dub of 213 playing a high school talent show, the first time you saw Nate Dogg in a live setting was probably the 1994 MTV Music Awards, when he performed "Regulate" with Warren G. As the beat dropped and the Young Guns dialogue started, Warren G coolly strolled out and started his verse. Nate followed a good 20-30 feet behind – head down and visibly stoned. He looked nervous as hell, but his voice never trembled when he raised the mic to his mouth.

That was Nate Dogg's career in a nutshell – playing the background, reluctant to show out and making good songs great (or, when paired with lackluster rappers and beats, making bad songs listenable.) He was the first singer to begin his career integrated into the world of gangsta rap, a role that would lead to much acclaim but never the superstar success reserved for the rappers he accompanied.

Nate Dogg made his recorded debut on Dr. Dre's classic album The Chronic, cleaning up Dre's lyrical mess on "Deez Nuuuts." (Dre sounds like he took a shot at writing his own lyrics. That's not a compliment.) Even on an album full of memorable moments, you'd be hard-pressed to listen through it for the first time and not leave singing, "IIIIIII can't be faaaaded" to yourself the rest of the day.

One of Nate's early features that doesn't seem to be getting much attention since he passed away is "Indo Smoke" by Mista Grimm. And that's sad, because it's one of the best examples of Nate making a hard song harder, rather than solidifying a softened radio single. Taken from the Poetic Justice soundtrack* and the first time that either Nate, Grimm or Warren G had been featured on a single, "Indo Smoke" shot up to Billboard's #12 spot on the Hot Rap Singles chart and #58 on the Hot 100. The chorus is pure Nate Dogg, plotting his smooth voice against profane lyrics: This ain't no stress it's the muthafuckin' indo smoke.

The thing I'll remember most about Nate Dogg is how he changed the format of radio programming where I grew up. While big cities like L.A., San Francisco and New York already had stations dedicated to hip hop and R&B, the Palm Springs-area stations would only play rap at night, well after the retired folks had finished golfing and drinking themselves to sleep. But then "Regulate" came out, and all of a sudden you could simultaneously eat lunch and listen to Nate shooting Warren G's assailants before rounding up some honeys for an Eastside Motel orgy. Soon Puffy perfected the art of made-for-radio rap, and the Palm Springs airwaves never looked back. Nowadays you can hear Flo-Rida's crappy new songs break literally minutes after they hit the big cities and Internet.

Sadly, Flo-Rida won't have Nate Dogg around to make those songs listenable.

*Weird: Poetic Justice and Above the Rim make two bad 2Pac movies that Nate Dogg and Warren G kept relevant with hit singles on the soundtrack.

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Trey

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